Saturday, 9 February 2008

Locked 'isself out, crappy piss-head!

"Student Chris Foster had downed six beers, vodka and whisky when his friends decided he should call time on the evening. When pals of an inebriated student decided it was time to take him home after a boozy night he refused to let them and protested - by swallowing his door key.
Chris had to spend the night on his pal's sofa before borrowing a spare key to get into his home in the morning."

Yeah. Then use a potty lest he lose the crap key when it came out! Twit!

Friday, 8 February 2008

Listen Up!

Reporting from http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/wales/south_west/7214066.stm


"A boy who has been partially deaf for nine years was suddenly cured - when a cotton wool bud popped out of his ear. Jerome Bartens was diagnosed as deaf in his right ear when he was just two and has struggled at school ever since. But Jerome, now 11, was suddenly able to hear clearly again as he played with friends in Haverfordwest, Pembrokeshire. He said he heard a popping sound, then found the tip of a cotton wool bud in his ear. His family believe Jerome must have put the bud in his ear as a toddler and the centimetre-long cotton tip came off the plastic stem. Jerome's father Carsten, 45, said: "It was just incredible - his hearing returned to normal in an instant."

Just how incompetent did the various doctors he saw over this 9 (in words : NINE) year period have to be?
His GP claimes it was "just wax". The ENT docs make more money investigating(HAH!) deafness than merely
removing a piece of cotton wool, I'll bet!

Poor kid. Doesn't such incompetence make you want to puke!

I forgot it was Friday!!



I use to love halloween

Here's

...my follow up to Cynnie's Vagina Couch post of last week.I swear I'm not making this shit up.Apologies in advance for those offended by the sight of beautiful naked women or the mention of ladybits.

Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce -

Vulva.
The erotic, intimate scent of an irresistible woman.


The precious, vaginal odour filled into a small glass phial. The phial is shaken gently,only a tiny amount of the precious organic substance is applied onto the back of the hand....and the irresistible smell that exudes from a sensuous vagina immediately intensifies your erotic fantasies and starts the film rolling in your head...



VULVA original is not a perfume. It is a beguiling vaginal scent which is purely a substance for your own smelling pleasure.

Breathe in and enjoy any time, anywhere, the odour of a beautiful woman.



I wonder if "VULVA" may have had a hand in the mannequin shenanigans of previous posts...?

Thank you.

Mother Of The Year

Happy WTF Friday everyone! I missed last week, but I'm back. Hope all is well. There is always plenty of strange stuff on this crazy planet to make us scream "WTF?!?!" So here goes.

I'm starting mine off today with a funny photo... I truly have no idea what's going on in the pic, or why... Just thought I would share.
WTF?!?!

So there you go.

Second, a news article that was sent to me, just goes to show you that Parenting is taken a lot lighter these days, and that stupid people continue to breed (Pity for their kids), and that some people just don't care... Mother of the year award goes to this lady.

An Indiana woman was arrested Wednesday on charges she gave her 11-year-old daughter alcohol and marijuana as a birthday gift, according to reports.

Davita Fuller, 26, of Anderson, Ind., has been charged with one felonious count of contributing to the delinquency of a minor after cops alleged the woman offered beer and pot to her daughter and three of her friends during a birthday party on Feb. 1, according to reports by FOX59.com and TheIndyChannel.com.

Fuller's daughter accepted the invitation, according to eyewitnesses.

"They saw her tip the alcohol beverage up and they saw her inhale what they described as a blunt," Det. Joel Sandefur of the Anderson Police Department told FOX59.com.

Fuller told police that she was smoking pot and drinking beer with her adult friends at the party, but denied giving them to her daughter, police said.

"This is something we're not going to tolerate," Sandefur said.

You for coffee?

Have You Seen This Man!


The most stupid e-fit appeal ever
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
In a world of bad efits and photofits this could be the worst. The Royal Thai Police have released this sketch of a bank robber and are asking anyone who may have seen him to contact them.

He has no features, a silver reflective visor where a face should be and his black head is very bulbous - hang on, is he wearing a helmet?
Mr Helmet Head is suspected of stealing 200,000 baht (£3,287) from the Ladprao branch of the Government Savings Bank in Bangkok several weeks ago.

Police rigorously gathered witness statements which were corroborated to paint a perfect picture of the bank robber.
Come on admit you know him don't you!

Thursday, 7 February 2008

WHO TF YOU TRYING TO KID?



A man accused of killing teenage model Sally Anne Bowman admitted having sex with her when she was dead, the Old Bailey has heard.

Sally Anne Bowman was murdered in 2005
The aspiring teenage model was "savagely and brutally" murdered only yards from her home by a man who was motivated by sex, the court was told.
The 18-year-old was stabbed repeatedly, bitten several times all over her body and sexually assaulted both before and after she died.
The force of the attack was so powerful that the blade of the knife passed all the way through her neck, the Old Bailey was told.
Miss Bowman's bruised, battered and bloody body was discovered on the driveway of a home just a few doors from where she lived in Blenheim Crescent, south Croydon, on September 25, 2005.
Brian Altman, prosecuting, said the "horrific" killing just two weeks after Miss Bowman's 18th birthday was not without motive. "This was not a motiveless attack," he said.
"Sally Anne Bowman's murder was motivated by sex. He clearly murdered her for his own sexual gratification," he told the seven woman, five man jury.
"There is no other way of describing it, other than to say that Sally Anne had been savagely and brutally killed.
"The evidence demonstrates that she was sexually violated when she lay dead or dying from the stab wounds inflicted upon her."
Chef Mark Dixie, 37, of no fixed address, denies murdering Miss Bowman but according to the prosecution admitted having sexual intercourse with her dead body.
Mr Altman said Mark Dixie admitted he had sex with Sally Ann after her death.
The jury was told that the accused’s defence was that – under the influence of drink and drugs – he "happened" upon Miss Bowman's body and took advantage of the situation.
"His case is that someone else stabbed her to death, leaving her in a pool of blood at 26 Blenheim Crescent," he said.
"That somebody else murdered her – but not him.
"That – astonishingly – is his defence to the charges of murder he faces. It is very clearly a defence born out of desperation."


i can see it now. a hushed courtroom;


"it's like this your honour.....i saw her, and tried to give her the kiss of life, and...well...one thing led to another....look, i'm 37, married, 3 kids, it's not often i get an erection these days, so why waste it?"


who the fuck is he trying to fool? and now the defence is trying to say the boyfriend did it!

Wednesday, 6 February 2008

Tear

..down a National Historic Site, a fantasticly interesting and deeply engaging place to visit, for what?

"San Francisco voters will decide on Tuesday whether to remove the famous Alcatraz Prison visited by thousands of tourists a day and instead create a "global peace center."

The proposition sharing the presidential primary ballot comes from the director of the California-based Global Peace Foundation who gives his name as Da Vid. He says transforming Alcatraz will "liberate energies, raising the whole consciousness of the Bay Area."



Supporters would like to raze the prison and build a medicine wheel, a labyrinth and a conference center for non-violent conflict resolution. Volunteers collected 10,350 voter signatures last year to put it on the local ballot.

But even in a city long famed for its embrace of counterculture, many are skeptical about he plan.

"Perhaps we haven't reached the proper stage of enlightenment yet, but we're more inclined to support propositions with defined sources of funding attached to them," the San Francisco Chronicle said in an editorial.

Alcatraz is San Francisco's second-most popular paid tourist attraction after cable cars, luring 1.4 million visitors annually on a short ferry ride into San Francisco Bay.

To skeptics Da Vid responds: "Like John Lennon, I may be a dreamer, but I'm not the only one."

Don't get me wrong, I'm as all for World Peace as the next man, but dude, WTF? Build your fucking peace center somewhere else, or I'll come over and kick the shit out of you.So there.

And leave John Lennon out of it, you twat.