Jesus fucking Christ

I'm late ..sorry!


RETAIL bosses may have to issue bizarre health warnings on its clothing mannequins - after a punter said he got his MANHOOD trapped in one.


The man, 31, rang officials at an online firm to whinge that he got “part of himself” stuck in a 24mm hole on a female display bust.


The unnamed customer from Doncaster, South Yorks, had ordered the display mannequin over the internet mistakenly thinking it was an adult sex toy. He had to use a pair of heavy duty scissors to cut the dummy and set himself free.


Cheekily instead of feeling a right dummy, he then asked for a REFUND from the suppliers but they were said to have “politely refused.”


Officials at Displaysense which makes sales displays for retail outlets are now considering whether to carry warnings on each bust and on their website to stop future potential incidents happening.


Steve Whittle the marketing manager of Displaysense said: “I’m stunned by this incident.


“These busts are for display purposes only and no where on the website or in the products packaging does it state that they should be used for adult means.


“Apparently the bust was so durable, the man was concerned he might have to call the fire brigade to liberate him.


“But thankfully, a pair of heavy duty scissors were able to cut apart the female bust to release him and relieve his delicate area.


“After freeing himself, he made a call to Displaysense to complain about the user friendliness of the female bust and that this was not what he had ordered.


“During the phone call the gentleman in question demanded a refund on the now dismantled female bust at which point the refund request was politely refused.”


The sales team were said to have been “stunned and embarassed” by the complaint.


In 2005, Michael Plentyhorse an 18 year old from the US was caught after performing an indecent act with an arts centre mannequin from another company.


Mr Whittle added: “We’ve just added these busts to our range and we normally expect some initial teething problems but not in our 30 years of business have we experienced such an incident.


“I just hope we don’t have to go to the extent of placing a warning sticker onto the bust to deter people from considering such inappropriate acts in the future”.

Dead ringer to cash cheque ???

Two men in the US have been arrested wheeling a corpse down a busy street in an office chair.

David J Dalaia and James O'Hare were planning to use their friend's body to cash his $355 (£181) social security cheque.

However, a New York police officer stopped the pair when he saw them from a restaurant window.

Detective Travis Rapp said he had thought the body was "a mannequin or a dummy".

After arresting the men, Det Rapp discovered they had been trying to cash Virgilio Cintron's cheque at a store in Hell's Kitchen(sic!!!!)


But the shop owner had told them Mr Cintron - who had died 24 (!!!!!!!!!!) days earlier - had to be present.

The men went back to his flat, dressed him in a T-shirt and trousers, and then wheeled him to the store in a red office chair.

The pair - who have a history of heroin addiction - left the corpse outside, but the shopkeeper asked to see Mr Cintron.

When they were about to bring him in, they were spotted by the detective.

...all in the timing...

...a personal one today... So, my girlfriend recently moved in and isn't yet working. She should be starting her new job at the beginning of February. With Christmas just gone and all, I'm sure y'all know how tight money can be. Well, this year I planned ahead! I saved and saved and saved and made sure I checked my bank balance can could top it off with carefully hidden little piles of cash... it's all in the timing see... don't put too much in or it'll get spent, see...

...so today I wandered over to my bank at lunchtime to pay some money in to cover my recent expenses. And it appears I have mistimed it somewhat...

...instead of being $400 in credit, I am $600 overdrawn...

W.T.F.!!!

...fuck...and extrapolating to February, I will obviously be fucked then too, seeing as I am about to lose a third of my paycheck to my overdraft fees...


I am glad I do not own a gun.

Let there be light.

Is it just me or would everyone find this light switch just a bit too much to take?

Give it a rest for christ's sake.. It's good to be godless i reckon.

Following

...my theme from last week of falling from high places, I found this gem from a while back.
On March 23,1994 the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. Mr. Opus had jumped from the top of a ten story building intending to commit suicide. He left a note to that effect, indicating his despondency. As he fell past the ninth floor his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window which killed him instantly.

Neither the shooter nor the descender was aware that a safety net had been installed just below at the eighth floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned.

"Ordinarily," Dr. Mills continued, "a person who sets out to commit suicide and ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he intended, is still defined as committing suicide."

That Mr. Opus was shot on the way to certain death, but probably would not have been successful because of the safety net, caused the medical examiner to feel that he had a homicide on his hands. The room on the ninth floor, whence the shotgun blast emanated, was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously and he was threatening her with a shotgun. The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger he completely missed his wife and the pellets went through the window, striking Mr. Opus.

When one intends to kill subject A but kills subject B in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject B. When confronted with the murder charge the old man and his wife were both adamant. They both said they thought the shotgun was unloaded. Thed old man said it was his long-standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her. Therefore the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident; that is, the gun had been accidentally loaded.

The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple's son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal accident. It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother. The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.

Now comes the exquisite twist. Further investigation revealed that the son was, in fact, Ronald Opus. He had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother's murder. This led him to jump off the ten story building on March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth story window. The son had actually murdered himself so the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.

I was unfortunately unable to find any more car-wash mishaps, but posted a new gratuitous hot-girls-in-a-car-wash picture on the old post just because.
Happy WTF? Friday.

AJ Wonders WTF?!?

First let me say that it's really an honor that I was invited to post here at WTF Friday... Thanks!! Now I'll share with you my WTFs for the week... Hope you don't go bald scratching your head! Have a safe weekend all!

One more piece of proof that stupid people continue to breed, and breed:
Woman Gets Sick from Tattoo purchased from Door-to-Door Tattoo Artist


Someone has a really serious "Sweet Tooth" problem!
Honey Bun slaying adds 25 years to sentence

Walkies

LONDON (Reuters) - A British bus company has apologized to a girl who is led around on a leash by her boyfriend and describes herself as a human pet after one of its drivers threw her off a bus.

Tasha Maltby, 19, told British newspapers she was the "pet" of her 25-year-old fiance Dani Graves.

Pictures showed her dressed in black Gothic-style clothing with silver buckles on a silver chain -- which the driver of a bus from the firm Arriva took exception to.

She told the Daily Mail newspaper Wednesday she was thrown off and told: "We don't let freaks and dogs like you on."

Arriva would not comment on specifics but said it apologized if the couple felt they had been discriminated against. It added, however, that the driver was worried about safety and the company told Maltby to take the leash off in the future.

"We have spoken to the driver who has talked about health and safety," a spokesman said. "Should she be attached to a chain and something happens on the bus, that could be dangerous. All we are saying is that she is very welcome to use the buses but not when she is on her lead."

Maltby -- who lives on state benefits and got engaged in November -- said her choice of lifestyle might seem unusual but was harmless.
"I am a pet," she told the Daily Mail. "I generally act animal-like and I lead a really easy life. I don't cook or clean and I don't go anywhere without Dani. It might seem strange but it makes us both happy. It's my culture and my choice. It isn't hurting anyone."

mmmmmmm what more can be said then?!

WTF? AND HE MAKES DECISIONS FOR US?

"An MP has made a hasty U-turn after giving his support for National Fetish Day.
Ronnie Campbell, 64, told organisers he would wear purple to mark the event planned for today and even confessed to having a horse fetish.
Ronnie Campbell MP: he likes the horses, oh yes he does
When a local newspaper rang to check he approved of the campaign, the Labour MP for Blyth Valley, Northumberland, replied: 'I have no problem with it and I am happy to show my support.
'I have a purple tie and a purple shirt so I will be able to wear their colours.
He added: 'I must have a thousand [fetishes] but, hand on my heart, I couldn't tell which is the most important one. Probably the horses.'
But when told the kinky meaning of the word, Mr Campbell realised there had been a big misunderstanding.
He said: 'Oh my God almighty! I thought a fetish was a worry, like worrying about backing the right horse.'
The event organiser, known only as Pierced Knight, said the colour purple was chosen because of its use in bondage circles."

judging by the size of the love bite on his cheek...............

me thinks he doth protest too much!

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IT'S NOT WTF IT SEEMS...

from the metro

Is this the evidence we need to prove there IS life on mars?
"Is this the confirmation we needed that there really are little green men living on Mars?
Bizarre images taken by Nasa's Mars Explorer Spirit have emerged showing a very strange human shape walking down a hill.
At first experts missed this clear evidence of ET living on the Red Planet.
It wasn't until space and science fiction enthusiasts became involved that the images were taken more seriously.
The pictures, found on a Chinese website, are now creating a stir of excitement."

DON'T BE SO FUCKING DAFT!

it's simply the bloke from green flag finally arrived to sort out the beagle explorer!