Saturday 2 February 2008

In bed with Lolita ?

A day late, but WTF?

Woolies Pulls 'Lolita' Bed After Protest

Woolworths has landed itself in trouble over the suggestive naming of a bedroom set aimed at young girls.

The 'Lolita' name has been withdrawn after an internet row erupted with mothers who objected to the branding.

Lolita is the title of the Vladimir Nabokov's famous novel, about a middle-aged man who became sexually obsessed with his 12-year-old step-daughter.

But staff at Woolworths were not aware of the connection.

"What seems to have happened is the staff who run the website had never heard of Lolita," said a Woolworths spokesman.

Like Yeah! That's where today's education system is taking us :-(
Chavs ruling the world. WTF?

Shouldn't

...being alive be proof enough that you're..ermm...alive. Apparently not in Poland.

WARSAW - Red tape is preventing a Polish man from returning from the dead.
Piotr Kucy, 38 and from the city of Polkowice in southwest Poland, was wrongly identified by authorities last August as a drowned man, only to show up a few days after his own funeral.
Despite pointing out the fact that he was alive to government officials, Kucy still remains dead in official records, stopping him from working and paying social insurance.
But on the bright side, a local newspaper reported on Tuesday, he no longer needs to pay taxes.
"We are nearly through January, and my documents still say I'm dead," Kucy told Gazeta Wyborcza, adding: "It's a bit of a joke." But a registry office official was adamant about the situation. "This citizen does not exist," she told the paper.



Now, unless he's taken on the appearance of the unfortunate undead soul above, was missing such vital signs as a pulse and blood pressure you'd think they'd have no trouble getting him back on the Alive list. WTF? Polish dudes?

Friday 1 February 2008

Politics is much more fun in the USA


"When we were in college we used to take a popcorn popper -- because that was the only thing they would let us have in the dorms -- and fry squirrels in the popcorn popper." --Mike Huckabee, completely freaking us out

"I'm sure a lot of you have tripped out on alcohol. It's a lot safer to do it on marijuana" --Democratic presidential candidate Mike Gravel, speaking to high school students

"I don't want to be invited to the family hunting party." --Sen. Barack Obama, on revelations that he and Dick Cheney are eighth cousins

"My job is a decision-making job. And as a result, I make a lot of decisions." --The Decider, George W. Bush (Don't yer just love him?)

"If we took away women's right to vote, we'd never have to worry about another Democrat president. It's kind of a pipe dream, it's a personal fantasy of mine, but I don't think it's going to happen. And it is a good way of making the point that women are voting so stupidly, at least single women." --Ann Coulter

"I couldn't get over the fact that there was no difference between Sylvia's restaurant and any other restaurant in New York City. I mean, it was exactly the same, even though it's run by blacks, primarily black patronship. ... There wasn't one person in Sylvia's who was screaming, 'Mother Fucker!, I want more iced tea.'" --Bill O'Reilly, after dining with Rev. Al Sharpton and the famed Harlem restaurant, Sylvia's

"He's too snore-y and stinky, they don't want to ever get into bed with him." --Michelle Obama, on her daughters' refusal to crawl into bed in the morning with her husband Barack

"Embarrassing, embarrassing. No wonder why we're going down the tubes." --Sgt. Dave Karsnia, during his interrogation of Sen. Larry Craig after arresting him for trying to solicit sex in an airport men's room

"Thank you all very much for coming out today." --Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho), at the beginning of his remarks to reporters in which he insisted he was "not gay"

"I have a wide stance." --Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho), explaining why he was arrested for lewd private behavior at an airport restroom, in which an undercover police officer caught him playing footsie in an apparent attempt to solicit sex

"What do you think about that?" --Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho), after handing his Senate business card to the police officer who arrested him for lewd conduct

"I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, um, some people out there in our nation don't have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as, uh, South Africa and, uh, the Iraq and everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, should help South Africa and should help Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future." --Miss South Carolina Teen Lauren Caitlin Upton, after being asked why 1/5th of 1/5th of Americans can't locate the U.S on a world map.

"My sons are all adults and they've made decisions about their careers and they've chosen not to serve in the military and active duty and I respect their decision in that regard. One of the ways my sons are showing support for our nation is helping me get elected because they think I'd be a great president." --Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney

"You look at that Democratic debate, I had to laugh at what I saw Barack Obama do. I mean in one week he went from saying he's going to sit down, you know, for tea, with our enemies, but then he's going to bomb our allies. I mean he's gone from Jane Fonda to Dr. Strangelove in one week." --Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney

"You know, in the horror movie you kill the monster, and the hand re-emerges. And if you're not looking, the hand grows back and then the monster's there again. That cannot be allowed to happen." --Rudy Giuliani, on fighting terror

"At my age, any scream is a good scream." --Former President Bill Clinton, on an Iowa woman mistaking him for Bob Barker

"PETA is not happy that my dog likes fresh air." --Presidential candidate Mitt Romney, on why he strapped his dog to the roof his car

"I'm from Hope, Arkansas, you may have heard of it. All I'm asking is, give us one more chance." --Former Arkansas Governor and presidential candidates Mike Huckabee, getting in a dig at Bill Clinton during a Republican presidential debate

Send 'em over 'ere will yer? Please?

WTF TOOK EM SO LONG?

about bloody time. throw the fucking key away!
she was quoted as saying this week;
"keep my kids, i don't care, i'll have some more"
they'll really adore her when they grow up!
crazy fucking bitch!


all I can say is...why?


Vagina couch..

yeah ...everyone needs one

WHATS THE BEST THEY THOUGHT COULD HAPPEN?

It is stating the blindingly obvious, but just to be absolutely crystal clear – alcohol and red-hot pokers do not mix .Anyone who needs more guidance on why they are mutually exclusive can turn to YouTube where a couple of self-styled 'pranksters' have posted a graphic demonstration. The pair – known only at 'Neil & Bert drunk in St Austell' – take part in a Jackass-style stunt after they have obviously had a few. Of course, anybody who's ever lived in St. Austell will be able to confirm that the agony of branding yourself with a red-hot poker is nothing compared to the agony of living in St. Austell. The (thankfully) blurry 75-second video shows one of the jokers holding a poker over some glowing embers before branding his mate's buttock. Unsurprisingly, this causes a good deal of pain – and leaves a large black burn. Amid the shrieks of agony, someone in the background assures the victim: 'You can't even see it.'. The Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents yesterday warned against copying the stunt. "It's pretty obvious that if you heat a piece of metal and place it on your skin it's going to do you some damage and cause you discomfort", said a spokesman.





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


A dangerous prank quite literally backfired and landed a 22-year-old squaddie in hospital with a scorched colon – after he stuck a firework up his bottom.
The soldier inserted a rocket in a place definitely not recommended by the Fireworks Code and, as onlookers cheered, lit the blue touchpaper.
The prankster, who has not been named but who recently returned from a tour of duty in Iraq, was badly burned.
Witness Daniel Kassim, 16, said: 'There were around 40 of us after the bonfire had finished.
'This lad was saying, “This is boring, what can we do?”. He then put a rocket up his backside and set light to it.
'Everyone was laughing and didn't believe he'd do it. He pulled his trousers down and it exploded within seconds.
'No one thought he was hurt. But then he stood up and walked a few metres before stumbling and falling to the ground. There was quite a bit of blood.'
Police and paramedics were called to the Monkwearmouthon area of Sunderland after the stunt on Sunday.
The victim was taken to Sunderland Royal Hospital where he is having treatment for internal injuries.
Onlookers said the man was mimicking a scene from Jackass where the character Steve-O shoots a firework from his rear.
The Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents reiterated its warnings about the dangers of playing with fireworks.
'It's very sad that this person had to learn about the dangers posed in this way,' it said.

Chasing Pussy

A cat was snooping around its new flat in Austin, Texas, when it came across a gap in the wall.
The woman who owns the feline remarked on it to her friend, who put his hand into the gap and found a number of DVDs apparently hidden by the apartment's previous occupant Luis Jimenez. Turns out the DVDs were full of child porn and Jiminez could now face up to 10 years in jail and a fine of up to $10,000 :-)

Dead But Alive



Red tape is preventing a Polish man from returning from the dead.

Piotr Kucy, 38 and from the city of Polkowice in southwest Poland, was wrongly identified by authorities last August as a drowned man, only to show up a few days after his own funeral.

Despite pointing out the fact that he was alive to government officials, Kucy still remains dead in official records, stopping him from working and paying social insurance.
But on the bright side, a local newspaper reported on Tuesday, he no longer needs to pay taxes.

'We are nearly through January, and my documents still say I'm dead,' Kucy told Gazeta Wyborcza, adding: 'It's a bit of a joke.'

But a registry office official was adamant about the situation. 'This citizen does not exist,' she told the paper.

So does this mean he can commit crimes and not be charged, you can't charge a someone who is dead now can you!!! I could think of a few things that I would do if it was me!