Politics is much more fun in the USA

"When we were in college we used to take a popcorn popper -- because that was the only thing they would let us have in the dorms -- and fry squirrels in the popcorn popper." --Mike Huckabee, completely freaking us out

"I'm sure a lot of you have tripped out on alcohol. It's a lot safer to do it on marijuana" --Democratic presidential candidate Mike Gravel, speaking to high school students

"I don't want to be invited to the family hunting party." --Sen. Barack Obama, on revelations that he and Dick Cheney are eighth cousins

"My job is a decision-making job. And as a result, I make a lot of decisions." --The Decider, George W. Bush (Don't yer just love him?)

"If we took away women's right to vote, we'd never have to worry about another Democrat president. It's kind of a pipe dream, it's a personal fantasy of mine, but I don't think it's going to happen. And it is a good way of making the point that women are voting so stupidly, at least single women." --Ann Coulter

"I couldn't get over the fact that there was no difference between Sylvia's restaurant and any other restaurant in New York City. I mean, it was exactly the same, even though it's run by blacks, primarily black patronship. ... There wasn't one person in Sylvia's who was screaming, 'Mother Fucker!, I want more iced tea.'" --Bill O'Reilly, after dining with Rev. Al Sharpton and the famed Harlem restaurant, Sylvia's

"He's too snore-y and stinky, they don't want to ever get into bed with him." --Michelle Obama, on her daughters' refusal to crawl into bed in the morning with her husband Barack

"Embarrassing, embarrassing. No wonder why we're going down the tubes." --Sgt. Dave Karsnia, during his interrogation of Sen. Larry Craig after arresting him for trying to solicit sex in an airport men's room

"Thank you all very much for coming out today." --Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho), at the beginning of his remarks to reporters in which he insisted he was "not gay"

"I have a wide stance." --Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho), explaining why he was arrested for lewd private behavior at an airport restroom, in which an undercover police officer caught him playing footsie in an apparent attempt to solicit sex

"What do you think about that?" --Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho), after handing his Senate business card to the police officer who arrested him for lewd conduct

"I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, um, some people out there in our nation don't have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as, uh, South Africa and, uh, the Iraq and everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should, uh, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, should help South Africa and should help Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future." --Miss South Carolina Teen Lauren Caitlin Upton, after being asked why 1/5th of 1/5th of Americans can't locate the U.S on a world map.

"My sons are all adults and they've made decisions about their careers and they've chosen not to serve in the military and active duty and I respect their decision in that regard. One of the ways my sons are showing support for our nation is helping me get elected because they think I'd be a great president." --Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney

"You look at that Democratic debate, I had to laugh at what I saw Barack Obama do. I mean in one week he went from saying he's going to sit down, you know, for tea, with our enemies, but then he's going to bomb our allies. I mean he's gone from Jane Fonda to Dr. Strangelove in one week." --Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney

"You know, in the horror movie you kill the monster, and the hand re-emerges. And if you're not looking, the hand grows back and then the monster's there again. That cannot be allowed to happen." --Rudy Giuliani, on fighting terror

"At my age, any scream is a good scream." --Former President Bill Clinton, on an Iowa woman mistaking him for Bob Barker

"PETA is not happy that my dog likes fresh air." --Presidential candidate Mitt Romney, on why he strapped his dog to the roof his car

"I'm from Hope, Arkansas, you may have heard of it. All I'm asking is, give us one more chance." --Former Arkansas Governor and presidential candidates Mike Huckabee, getting in a dig at Bill Clinton during a Republican presidential debate

Send 'em over 'ere will yer? Please?